Delia is my favorite person to wait with.
A lot of life is made up of waiting, so if you want to build a life with someone it’s important for them to be someone who you like to wait with.
The other day while we waited for a special to-go lunch treat to be ready, it seemed like a good opportunity to meditate. The easy way, with a guide. I asked Delia if she was up for it, and she said “sure”, so I picked out a seven minute guided meditation on Insight Timer.
We sat in the car and followed along, and our food was ready just as the guidance was wrapping up.
It’s not like she’s a perfect guru at all of these things (waiting, meditating, etc.); she told me afterwards she was actually anxious that our number would be called while we were meditating and we wouldn’t hear it. She was kind of right, too; I was totally into the meditation and more easily set aside any worries about missing being called for (the lady said it would be ten minutes, so with a seven minute sit I figured it wouldn’t be a terrible thing if we were a couple minutes late picking up our order).
Again, as with a lot of these relationship things, it boils down to compatibility. Neither of us have monk-like prayer or meditation practices or expertise; we both are willing, though, and value what practicing meditation does for us. A lot of the time when one of us suggests prayer or meditation or stretching or a walk or whatever, the other one is NOT really in the mood, but values the opportunity and invitation, and willingly decides to accept it. For both of our sakes.
A lot of people I’ve been in more casual relationships with are not at all willing or interested in doing any of these proven wellness-boosters. Some of those people even would make fun of me or other people for wanting to spend time doing those things, or were scared or uncomfortable when they tried.
Being on the same (or a similar) page with health and wellness practices is vital for long term relationships. If you want to thrive, anyway. Or if you want to just stay in your comfort zone, unchallenged and not growing. The people I’ve stayed connected to longest over the years are people who are interested in how our brains work and have invested some effort in practices like meditation. Most of these people, in fact, including Delia have had more experience than I with it. I love being invited and challenged by friends, lovers, and my wife to get better at stuff like this.
If you want to spend a lot of time with anyone, be it a friend, a lover, or a partner, you want to be compatible with each other when it comes to waiting, walking, and accepting (or declining and/or deriding) invitations to quiet your minds.
