Delia and I are both introverts; we can tolerate a lot of time alone, and even a lot of time away from each other.
So it’s not weird for her to be gone for a week on the opposite side of the country from me and not even talk to each other on the phone. I mean, we check in every day with our Wordle scores and she tells me a couple of highlights via text, and we’re good.
She’s on a fairly interactive trip embedded with other people, so I wasn’t surprised to hear she decided to stay in their hotel room alone tonight — FRIDAY night — for a little while to recharge her introvert batteries, and I was happy for her getting the opportunity to do that and seizing it.
But I was also so happy when she asked if I wanted to talk. On the phone! During her hermit time!!
I didn’t feel like I *needed* to talk, but I did want to hear her voice; it’s funny how happy and flattered I was that my wife wanted to talk to me and share excited notes about her trip and activities. As an introvert I know how precious alone-time is (that’s part of why it works for us both to have time like this apart from each other; I do love spending time alone) so for her to prioritize sharing some of it with me on the phone makes me GIDDY with love. Time alone is super valuable … so her wanting to talk to me during that time makes me feel EXTRA valued and loved.
She’s been gone that amount of time where I am antsy to have her back home. There is something so romantic about your spouse telling you they are READY to come home even while they’re still on an adventure.
This to me is also an example of what it means to me to have an “open” marriage / relationship, and that it is not just about being sexually open. It really is about being open to each other having all kinds of adventures of their own, and the joy of returning to each other’s company exhilerated, changed … and happy to be home.
